Two Purple Rains

Have you heard of this thing called Lent? -Spiderman, explaining his t-shirt.

We're the blackest white kids you know. -Spiderman, as he was listening to Girltalk.

When I was a freshman I had to get a woman's card. -Spiderman, when Phil whipped out the BAC card with no red zone.

Are you the Irish Pope? -Me, to the Iowa kid with the green bishop hat on.

It's really hard to be female. -Spiderman, trying to explain to me what men want in a woman.

That's the great thing about being Irish. It doesn't matter of you're black, you can still be Irish. They're like, "oh you're black? Fuck it, you're still Irish." -Spiderman, commenting on the music. Afterwards, Katherine played "It Don't Matter if You're Black or White" by MJ.

Fuck you toilet..fuck you everything, I'm Spiderman! -Spiderman, in the bathroom

Noooo...there's so many more hours of drinking left!

Spiderman: God will require me to puke. I failed you God! Jesus! Jesus!
Jim: It's ok, you've got an extra man

Yeah, St. Patrick's Day is great! You should have come to our tailgate. There were green eggs and brats. Where was Nick Schott?